What is self-care? How does
that look? I imagine that for each
person it will look different, and for various moments and needs, it will be
different as well. For example, a few forms of self-care might include movement
or stillness; basking in the sun; walking in nature; stretching (yoga, tai chi,
or other) meditation; resting; enjoying a cup of hot tea in a comfy chair… Self-care might also include
healthy ways to be in community: calling a friend; playing with a pet; spending
time with a loved one; or other nourishing activities.
One of the foundational keys
to self-care is time with little or no distractions, to be alone or in
community without the distractions of our quick-paced lives. ‘But I’m so busy,’ we say, ‘how will I make time?’ … Making it do-able is the best
we can do. Creating time in do-able increments. Can you feel your breath and
the spaciousness in hearing the word ‘do-able’? Self-care is not to be treated
as another chore or daily task. It is, however, a spiritual task taken up in
service of health, wellness, and a greater mystery than we can imagine.
How is self-care related to
stress-reduction? Stress-reduction is much sought after these days. To reduce stress you need to care
for your self, and to care for your self you need to reduce stress. They are
intertwined. To manage and reduce stress, one must be willing to care for
himself or herself first. Many of us are often taught it is more noble
to put others first, rather than yourself. In certain cases, this is an
important learning tool for being in the world, society, as well as learning
common respect for all. Unfortunately, it can swing to an extreme, where we try
to always put others first; eventually our cup becomes empty, and we
continue to try to give and don’t
understand why we feel tired and depleted. Unbeknownst to us, or possibly
known, we are giving from a deficit. This never goes well…
Self-care includes the ways in
which you fill your cup. What joys in your life fill your cup? What relaxation
techniques help you to feel full again?
How can we create giving
opportunities that go well for the giver and the receiver? What might it be
like to give from your fullness and not be depleted?, and how might that be for
the receiver?
In this day and age, we often
attempt to de-stress by having time alone but sitting in front of a screen—TV, computer, iPad, Nook, cell
phone, video game. While these may fit into the category of fun and leisure, they
are not truly self-care. The light from the screens causes our eyes and brain
to speed up. This over-stimulates the nervous system causing it to go into
hyperactivity. This overstimulation shifts our body into the sympathetic
nervous system, which prepares us for fight/ flight/ freeze. Our goal in
self-care is to slow down, to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. The
parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for rest, digestion, the
endocrine glands (which secrete hormones) and other important bodily functions.
These systems can only activate, function, and harmonize when the body is at
rest.
Slowing down can also give us
the space and time needed for inner reflection, discovery of our deeper needs,
and exploring how those deeper needs may or may not be met in the near future.
Removing demands on yourself and others is an act of self-care, and will also
amazingly result in stress-reduction.
If you want to learn more
about Stress-Reduction and Self-care, we invite you to join us on Nov 17th at 9am thru 12pm. We will be offering
meditation, yoga and an open discussion on the different ways we can slow down
to tend and care for the Self.
In warm regards,
~Janet and John Wepner
